Get to the point
Recently blog posts here have been on the loooooong side. So we are going to correct that now.
Personal assistants to Administrators should be called “ADMINIONS”
Footscray, you dirty whore.
Forges is closing, and with it goes the heart and soul of Footscay.
I grew up in Footscay, and it was always a great place. So vibrant, full of energy, a meeting place for locals, that had everything you could need. Now the place is becoming a seedy ghost town, and is one stop off becoming a no go zone. So why the harsh words? Well for the reason to that, we have to go back a few years.
Footscray use to have a Coles New World. For those of you old enough to remember a world with out personal computers, or microwave popcorn, CNW, was like no other store. You name it, you could get it there, as well a yummy meal, with free jelly, for under a dollar. It was like an ikea store, except it had stuff you wanted, and you didn’t need to work your way through a maze, defeat the dragon and save the princess before you left. But then Coles New World closed.
The reason for the closure was to build a new store, a bigger store, one that was a Kmart, a Coles, speciality shops, corporate area, and multilevel car park. Across the road, on the former CNW site, City West was created, more shopping space, filled with absolutely nothing. To this day many of the shops have never been leased, but I am getting ahead of myself.
Naturally while all of this building was going on, people had to shop somewhere, and that somewhere was the shiny new, big, and wonderful experience that was Highpoint West Shopping Centre. From then on, people stayed away in droves. Footscray started to become a ghost town, shops were closing, because with no one shopping, shop owners couldn’t afford the rent, and things kept spiralling down.
Around this time, many new migrants, mainly from Vietnam began setting up shop in Footscray, and once again, the place became vibrant. While the socio-economic structure had changed, there was at least business being done in Footscray. Then the council merge happened.
Footscray as a municipality disappeared, and we were presented with new boundaries that formed the City of Maribrynong. In this new city, Highpoint City Shopping Centre (As it was now known) became part of the new city, and with it, the rates income came to council. With the wonderful new big cash cow in the city, what need was there to keep Footscray alive? After all, we were in a new era, the City of Maribrynong era, Footscray was no longer the city, nor the football team (They became the Western Bulldogs), it was time to move forward, Maribrynong forever!
So for a while, Footscray suffered a slow painful death. At the time, many new migrants were attracted to the area, and Footscray became vibrant again, but in a different way to the past. It became a hussling and bustling hub for a community, but it’s diversification also attracted the scum of society and the junkies moved in. Footscray became a place you only went to if you knew you could hold onto your purse with all might, and don’t go there at night.
Then as things change (yet again), there was an increase of student activity in the area, as Footscray still served as a public transport hub. With new housing going up in the Maribyrong area, the tram connection to Footscray station saw more people in Footscray. While they were not attracted to the place as such, they had to go through there. So the council made an effort to tart the place up a bit, and it worked. People started coming back to Footscray, and the vibe of the place changed again. Now there was an issue of too many people in Footscray, so step up the council policing of everything under the sun, to the point where it has become a hell hole again.
So now we get to Forges of Footscray. The store that has seen more changes in Footscray than hot meals it has served. Forges is Footscray, and is the place that has kept the hub going for many years. But for no more. The large expanse of land the Forges store(s) are on has been sold off, and no doubt will become high rise housing. With the closing of Forges, I no longer have a need to go to Footscray, and as such, will be one of many that will stay away.
Actually I tell a lie there, I will get off the train occasionally to get a doughnut from the caravan at the station, but with the new regional train line development taking place at Footscray station, I wonder for how much longer this will last.
Well you should have said so.
Betsy Cow had to go and get a new bank card today, and she wasn’t happy about it….
As I approached the touch screen to make my selection, an employee with a smile so wide, it could only have been created by a head office memo, stepped in front of me.
“Can I help you?” Beamed the employee.
“Just trying to find a soft spot in the floor here, got a couple of holes I need to dig.” Betsy Cow.
[Enforced laughter, obviously memo driven, hard to do though memo forced smile]
“I need a replacement ca…”
“New card [buttons pressed], there you go.”
“No I need a replaceme….”
“Yes, new card, just take a seat.”
So I sat down, as it gave me time to count to ten. While sitting there, I kept thinking that I should have seen a teller. After all, that’s what has always happened in the past. So after a few minutes of cudding this over, I decided to see Happy Smiley Memo Reader again.
“Hi, I don’t need a new card, I need to replace the one that is broken.”
“Yes, new card, just wait there.”
“No, not a new card, a replacement card.”
“Oh, you want a replacement card, well why didn’t you say so?”
Now at this point, it would be understandable if the bank had to employ the pop up screens, as any sane person would, at this point, GO BALLISTIC AT THE STUPIDITY.
But I didn’t.
You see, this is a problem in society these days. Everything needs to be done as quickly as possible, so you can move onto the next customer. It’s called service, but it is far from it. Instead of listening to what is needed, people just jump at the first chance to an issue they can answer quickly. More often than not though, the issue they are solving is one they created themselves, by simply not taking a few extra seconds to get on the same wavelength.
So if you are someone who works in the service industry, ie, you have to talk to strangers, take a breath and LISTEN. You will find you can do your job a lot easier, and will have less need for a memo induced smile to keep people coming back.
A horse is a horse, of course
Ye Olde Bessy Cow decided to go play some sport, and she pulled up on the wrong side of the injury list. Being the kind of cow Bessy is, she is determined to get back out on the field this weekend, but she is still lame. So she put the word out on the net, and the result was “Rapigel”.
Apparently this is a product designed for horses, but works well on other species, so Bessy is going to give it a go. Once she has finished being milked for the day, it’s off to the horse shop to try out. So in lieu of anything actually worth blogging about, we’re going to give you a running report during the day. Here’s hoping you can make it out on the field in 48 hours Bessy.
Addit:
Ok, I’ve purchased Rapigel, and apparently the horse shop I got it from sells a truck load of the stuff. It looks a bit like 1980′s hair gel, it smells like vicks vapour-rub, and doesn’t taste very good. No I didn’t lick the jar, I forgot after I had put it on and for some reason put my hoof in my mouth.
So the first application was made, and after five minutes I noticed about an 80% reduction in pain in the calf muscle. It was about this time I had to walk, and my limp was nearly gone. A good first sign.
A second application has now been made, and it is close to bed time, so will see how it goes in the morning.
Addit Two:
Well the gel worked a treat, I was feeling great out on the field. The ankle and calf were holding up really well. But I threw out a knee, so that’s me gone for the season.
So would I use Rapigel again? You bet I would, I just need to find a sport where it is useful.
If you love a link, set it free.
As the saying goes “If you love somebody, set them free, something something something, they will come back to you”.
Well after losing everything in the restart, I also lost all my links. But it’s ok, because if you are reading this blog for some strange reason, you can let me know what your link is, and with a big enough bribe, I might just add it.
So far I have added all the ones I can think of for now, but I’m sure once more of the cows come in for a milking, we will get nattering and work out some more.
Is it better?
Recently I made use of the local laundromat. Now while the jury is still out as to whether or not laundromats lower your IQ, it did get me thinking of something else.
Now the reason I was at the laundromat was to dry my clothes. After endless days of rain, and a need to wear certain items again, I buckled on my usual ban of clothes driers. The reasons I don’t have a clothes drier are simple. The waste a hell of a lot of electricity, and they are lazy. Lazy you say? Well yes, people these days take the quick and easy way out of things and just pop clothes in for a quick dry, with out thinking of the damage they are doing to the world.
So here is my plan, ban driers from homes.
If a drier is there, people use them. If you make it that they would have to go to a local laundromat to use a drier, then the use of them would decline. Now I hear what you are saying. What about the petrol to get there, what about mums with babies who need nappies, what about, what about, what about. Well it all just comes down to time management. For me, this was the first time I have used a drier for personal use in about 15 years. I did use the one at work to dry my uniform after getting drenched one day, but that was outside the circumstance of using it simply because I’m lazy.
So what do you all think? Good plan, or just a crack pot idea from a cow?
Written, typed and authorised by Daisy Cow.
Let’s go back, waaaaayyyyy back!
So what to write about and how to write it? Do I post this blog as someone with a name, meaning I am open to attack, or do I stay anonymous and therefore open to attack, but not personal attack? Well that’s something that can be decided later.
For now, I’m cleaning up a bit around home, and I’ve found a heap of stuff that was written in my youth. One of those things were ideas I took to a writers meeting for a new show I was working on at Channel Seven. At the time I was still in school, but was thought of as having enough talent to possibly make it as a comedy writer. So I was given a go on the pilot of the show “Beat Up”. As those of you old enough to remember, the show never made it, although the pilot was considered for the pilot of a show about shows that never made it to air. That pilot never made it to air either.
Anyway, I thought I would share with you some of the things I thought funny at the time, and this is back in about 1992 or 1993, I really can’t remember exactly. These are just ideas for segments, and not full scripts.
Pie Police: PP’s walking around the footy with a heat detector, ensuring public safety at the footy where pies are actually meant to be cold on the inside. They spot a suspicious pie in the crowd, rush over, stick finger in the pie and burns hand. Pie Police say “Look at this, people are meant to be able to come to the footy safe in the knowledge their pie is cold on the inside, this could have been a major disaster.”
Other pie issues: Pie Police doing roadside checks, pull over pie truck and find a pie not sealed correctly inside truck. Workplace check, pies not wearing safety vests. Pies exploding on production line.
Peter “Danger” Rowsthorn (yes, he was one of the cast members) tests the effects of myxomatosis on rabbits. He injects himself with myxo and goes lives with rabbits for a week. After that time he has gone blind, but the sex is amazing!
Sydney Harbour, is it big enough to hold all of Sydney’s sewage?
Is Maggie Tabera a real life “Splash!” She her rubbish bins only contain tuna cans, Try tracking her down to throw a bucket of water on her to see what happens. Point to obvious signs, big eyes, blubber, blow hole covered by hair.
Associated story: A whale that washed up on a beach refuses to go back in the water, while Japanese are there.
Ambulance Service now has to do pizza deliveries to make up funding shortfalls. Re-enactment of ambulance staff asking patient in the back if they can break a $50 so they can deliver pizza before the “30mins or it is free” rule kicks in.
After the break: We reunite two boulders torn apart in a volcanic eruption of 4,000,000 BC.
So that’s the kind of stuff I was thinking of nearly twenty years ago. I don’t know what is sadder, my humour not changing, or many of those issues still making headlines.
The Cows Have Returned To The Paddock
Moo!
Hello, sorry about the break in transmissions, we cows have been out wandering around. Actually due to hooves not being the best thing to type with, something big and bad went wrong, and everything has been lost.
So here we are back again, and we are ready to start blogging again. But there are some issues:
We lost all the links. Please tell us your link so we can add you again.
We lost all the previous posts. Unlike the way we process food, they wont be coming back.
We are really busy, so expect a lot of changes to the way thing site looks over the next few weeks.
Sorry again for being away, but we promise to blog again real soon.
Recent Comments