3Dtv? Nah, I’ll wait for 4D thanks.
Will the cows be buying a 3D television? Not a hope in hell of us getting one of those. You may as well hand us a dog turd. Bessy Cow explains why.
3D television is a crock of shit. It doesn’t work.
Ok, so some people might be able to be tricked into thinking they are seeing a three dimensional image, but it doesn’t work for everyone.
Us cows grew up when the amazement of wearing one red lens and one blue lens was seen more as comical than amazing, but the wonderment of Magic Eye was taking off. These Magic Eye images were a waste of time, as people spent hours trying to work out the image, when I had to do was take off my glasses and say “Mickey Mouse’s head”.
Here is the first problem with 3D television, the stupid glasses you have to wear, so you can trick your brain. As a cow that wears glasses all the time, putting on an extra pair of glasses to make things out of whack, when my glasses are putting them into whack is useless. While not television, I went and saw Avatar, and it was just three hours of pain, and I’m not even talking about the script. It was just a blurry screen and everything in 2D. Yes, that’s right, despite paying the extra for the daggy goggle, it was still in 2D. So why would I go and pay money for a 3D television to watch blurry 2D images? I may as well drag out the old Rank Arena 10 inch telly and watch that.
The second issue is those creating 3D television haven’t yet grasped the concept of making it. Having shit zoom at the screen is pointless, it doesn’t add to a story line, besides, it’s old hat, the Lumiere brothers proved that years ago with this film:
When first show, this had people running out of the room, thinking a train was coming towards them. Now we don’t bat an eyelid at it.
Yes, 3Dtv, you haven’t got a fan in me. I’ll wait for the fun of 4Dtv, when it really will take me to another dimension.
Uddertorial: How Fast Were You Going?
I was typing this up as a reply to a comment Ross made on a recent Uddertorial about Drink Driving. Given it turned into a bit of an essay, I thought it would be better to post it here.
Say I am driving down a hill, notice my speed exceeds the speed limit by 1km/h, so I take action to correct it, but still get done for exceeding the speed limit. Extreme example I know, but please bear with me.
Now alcohol in the bloodstream is not as easily fixed as applying the brakes in a car. You can’t just go an eat a kebab at 3am, to sober up, even though many have tried. So what is wrong with a law that clearly states you can not drink and then go out and drive?
As for speeding, what is a bigger issue on the roads? The driver who does 103km/h in a 100 zone, or the driver who does 80km/h to show other drivers you still get there just as quick, and don’t get a speeding fine. Or what about the driver who is constantly checking they are sitting right on the limit (according to their speedo), but in doing so has their eyes off the road for extended periods of time?
Why is it that now the Northern Territory has introduced a 130km/h, there has been an increase in incidents, compared with when the same roads had an open speed limit?
Why do we have arbitrary speed limits, telling us a certain speed is safe, when it is better to drive according to the conditions of the road, the vehicle, the driver, other road users? For example, in school zones, where the limit is 40km/h, sometimes I will drive at 40km/h, others at walking pace, because I am driving according to the conditions.
Would it be safe for me to drive in peak hour traffic at 100km/h because the sign says that is the limit, or am I better driving at the 20km/h pace set by the amount of traffic on the road?
When it comes to speed limits, too much emphasis is placed on a number. 100, 80, 60, 50, 40, the list goes on an on, and that is part of the problem. Not enough education goes into driver training in this country. Instead we learn a few rules, get told to look out for the signs, and here is your photo id. Australians on the whole don’t know how to drive vehicles. Broad statement I know, but the truth often hurts. If people had a better understanding of what driving is, speeding would not be as big an issue as it is today. I say not as big an issue, because there are still hoons out there, due to how easy it is to get a licence, and how powerful vehicles are, when they don’t need to be. A good place to start, to stop hooning is to limit the vehicles new drivers can get. I’m not just talking about power to weight ratios, only allow them front wheel drive, automatic transmission cars. Ban them from having performance enhancing components on those vehicles. Then, after they have done a year with a probationary licence, make them sit the driving test again, then a year later, make them do it again. Then in the final year of their probationary period, teach them to drive bigger more powerful vehicles, and have them go for their licence again in a bigger more powerful vehicle.
I know, that is too much, it would cost too much, it would take too long. Well get off the naysayer high horse I say, and think about the real cost to the community that a lower road toll would bring, because we have better trained drivers on our roads.
If governments were serious about catching speeding drivers, they would have more police out on the roads catching them. The sight of a police vehicle with lights flashing makes people slow down. Getting a letter a few weeks later in the mail makes people angry, it doesn’t make them slow down while driving at the time of driving.
If you want a good place to start for what should be the minimum standards for getting a licence, check out what happens in Sweden. Maybe then, speeding wont be an issue, or am I just looking at the numbers the wrong way?
Uddertorial: .05, make it dive.
As the advertising slogan goes: Drink and Drive, you’re a bloody idiot. But then we do allow people to drink, and still get on the road.
Now just think for a minute what a road vehicle is. In terms of a motorbike, it’s a mass of metal and plastic, usually starting around 100kg in weight, that can (legally) do up to 130km/h on Australian roads. A car, same speed, but much bigger, around the tonne or more in weight.
Now go back only a couple of hundred years, and if you had a weapon capable of doing those kind of speeds with that amount of weight, you could do a hell of a lot of damage to your enemy. Yes, the car/bike is a weapon, but because we are so use to them these days, they are not seen as that. Before you get behind the wheel of a car, think about how easy it would be to kill someone with that vehicle. A split second of difference in braking has someone dead. Now what if that person was a member of your family, or you? Got you thinking now?
But I know, cars are so much more safer these days. But there are a lot more cars on the roads these days, travelling at faster speeds, and with a lot more distractions to contend with. Incidents still happen, people still die, and alcohol still plays a big part in many of those incidents.
Which brings us to .05
The limit should be dropped to .02, and here are my reasons why.
While I personally would advocate for a double zero limit, you need to have some leeway for people. Staying alcohol free is easy for cows, we don’t drink, as we save it to you to put the kalua into milk.
What a .02 limit allows is for people to make an innocent mistake. Someone might have been drinking the night before, had a good nights sleep, but there was just a little touch of alcohol still in their system. They have done the right thing by not getting behind the wheel just after drinking, so they deserve a fair go. It could be that someone had some medication that had alcohol in it, so there needs to be that buffer.
A .02 limit lets people know, they will be given a chance, but they can’t make the decision to go and have a few drinks, and make a judgement call on if they are right to drive or not. This way the judgement is made for them, and it is a pretty simple one. “I’m going to drive, so I can’t drink”. After all, how many times have we heard the excuse “I thought I was right to drive”. Well tell that to the coroner.
Before we proceed, I just need to confirm
Us cows are pretty private about our details, not being so is pretty udderly useless.
Daisy Cow has written about this before, but as it keeps happening, she wants to moo about it again, and here is the situation:
Every day we are told to keep our private information well hidden. PIN (numbers) should never be written down. Passwords must contain both upper and lower case, letters and numbers, blood and stool samples. Have your brain encrypted to stop Freddy Kruger entering your dreams!
Yet any time someone who claims to be from a business calls, the first thing they want is all your private information. Huh? It’s my private information, so why should I give it out to someone who calls, claiming to be from somewhere. Here is how the call went today:
Phone: Ring ring! Ring ring!
Me: Hello?
Them: Hello is that Daisy Cow?
Me: Who is calling?
Them: Is that Daisy Cow I am speaking with?
Me: Until you identify yourself, no such information will be released.
Them: This is “Anglicised Name” from Banky Bank, is that Daisy Cow?
Me: Yes, how may I help you today.
Them: Before we continue I need to remind you that this call is being recorded for quality and training purposes.
Me: You can’t remind me of information you are yet to provide.
Them: Huh?
Me: You haven’t already told me the call is recorded, so you can’t remind me of that fact, but I will let that one pass for this time.
Them: Ummm, I need to confirm you date of birth, your name, your address before we can continue with this call.
Me: No.
Them: Excuse me!
Me: No.
Them: I must warn you we can not proceed with this call unless you provide the necessary information.
Me: Well given you have called me, and from a blocked number I might add, I do not feel the need in any way to give out my private information, especially when that information pertains to my banking details.
Them: Huh?
Me: Well given you have called me, on the phone number linked to my account, and as that number is a mobile phone, it is logical that the person with that phone in their possession is the right person, as such, I will not provide any more information to an unknown person.
Them: In that case you MUST attend a branch.
Me: No.
Them: But you have to.
Me: No, I don’t have to attend a branch, as there is nothing I need to discuss in relation to my banking with your company. If there is an issue, then inform me as to what the issue is, and further action will be taken as deemed required. As I know there is no issues at my end with the account, I have no need to attend a branch.
Them: But I have told you what must be done, so you have to do it. Now as you refuse to attend a branch, you have to tell me the details I require so I can continue with this call, it is a condition of the bank.
Me: There is no need to follow any such orders made by an unknown person at the other end of a phone line. I have the right to protect my privacy, which I am doing. I have made you aware of the terms and conditions of which I will discuss the matters you are calling me for, and no further information will be passed on.
Them: But, but, but [click].
They ended the call.
So here is what I ask of all my fellow cows out there. When you get such a call, refuse to hand over your information. Screw their “terms and conditions” put some of your own in. If they tell you the call may be recorded, tell them that it may be recorded from your end too. If they want private information, only give it after they have provided theirs, and you have confirmed them as correct. But most of all, let them know that if they want to play funny buggers, you are more than happy to charge them for the time they take wasting your time, and to bill the bank accordingly. Take a stand, and have a win against the banks!
Uddertorial. Differing views.
While you are all still trying to guess what is under Laurie Oakes, it’s time for the cows to take the bull by the horns and tackle a big issue.
Why are some people bigots, racists, deadbeats, etc? Call them what you will, but I wonder what their issue is. This came about after listening to a podcast about the Dreamtime game between Essendon and Richmond (yeah, some catching up to do) in which Michael Long was talking about Aboriginal players in the AFL. It got me thinking.
What is it people are afraid of when they meet someone they perceive as different to them? Why do people always assume bad things, when they have had no personal experience of it? What is the point I am trying to make? Well it’s like this….
Just say some guy finds out that someone he has worked with for a few years is Gay. Why do the deadbeats instantly think that the Gay guy is then going to force them into a dark alley to repeatedly rape them?
Why is it that if they meet an Aboriginal person for the first time, they instantly think that person is a drunk, who wants all your money, before they steal your car stereo?
Heavens forbid these people ever meet a Gay Aborigine, their head will explode.
My point is simple, respect is lost not earned. I’ve met all kinds of people all over the world, and the only time I have ever had an issue, is with the people who think those outside of their mirror image and thoughts should all be killed or burnt in hell for being bad.
You know, the world is a pretty simple place, but for some reason people want to over complicate things. I’m not saying free love for all, and unlock all the prisons and we can all be free. Just take a step back and ask yourself if something really actually bothers your life. Who cares if the Gay guys next door enjoy a morning romp in the lounge room. It’s not going to make the milk in your coffee go off, the world isn’t going to stop rotating. Why not be happy that in this busy world two people have found someone they love and want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. Who cares if someone with a different nationality to yours is employed at your work. The building is not going to collapse, and Neighbours will still be on at the same time each weeknight.
So people, be more like cows. Just enjoy life, enjoy the scenery, relax, and every now and then get your nipples tweaked. The world is a great place, don’t screw it up for yourself.
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