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September 2010
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Before we proceed, I just need to confirm

Us cows are pretty private about our details, not being so is pretty udderly useless.

Daisy Cow has written about this before, but as it keeps happening, she wants to moo about it again, and here is the situation:

Every day we are told to keep our private information well hidden. PIN (numbers) should never be written down. Passwords must contain both upper and lower case, letters and numbers, blood and stool samples. Have your brain encrypted to stop Freddy Kruger entering your dreams!

Yet any time someone who claims to be from a business calls, the first thing they want is all your private information. Huh? It’s my private information, so why should I give it out to someone who calls, claiming to be from somewhere. Here is how the call went today:

Phone: Ring ring! Ring ring!

Me: Hello?

Them: Hello is that Daisy Cow?

Me: Who is calling?

Them: Is that Daisy Cow I am speaking with?

Me: Until you identify yourself, no such information will be released.

Them: This is “Anglicised Name” from Banky Bank, is that Daisy Cow?

Me: Yes, how may I help you today.

Them: Before we continue I need to remind you that this call is being recorded for quality and training purposes.

Me: You can’t remind me of information you are yet to provide.

Them: Huh?

Me: You haven’t already told me the call is recorded, so you can’t remind me of that fact, but I will let that one pass for this time.

Them: Ummm, I need to confirm you date of birth, your name, your address before we can continue with this call.

Me: No.

Them: Excuse me!

Me: No.

Them: I must warn you we can not proceed with this call unless you provide the necessary information.

Me: Well given you have called me, and from a blocked number I might add, I do not feel the need in any way to give out my private information, especially when that information pertains to my banking details.

Them: Huh?

Me: Well given you have called me, on the phone number linked to my account, and as that number is a mobile phone, it is logical that the person with that phone in their possession is the right person, as such, I will not provide any more information to an unknown person.

Them: In that case you MUST attend a branch.

Me: No.

Them: But you have to.

Me: No, I don’t have to attend a branch, as there is nothing I need to discuss in relation to my banking with your company. If there is an issue, then inform me as to what the issue is, and further action will be taken as deemed required. As I know there is no issues at my end with the account, I have no need to attend a branch.

Them: But I have told you what must be done, so you have to do it. Now as you refuse to attend a branch, you have to tell me the details I require so I can continue with this call, it is a condition of the bank.

Me: There is no need to follow any such orders made by an unknown person at the other end of a phone line. I have the right to protect my privacy, which I am doing. I have made you aware of the terms and conditions of which I will discuss the matters you are calling me for, and no further information will be passed on.

Them: But, but, but [click].

They ended the call.

So here is what I ask of all my fellow cows out there. When you get such a call, refuse to hand over your information. Screw their “terms and conditions” put some of your own in. If they tell you the call may be recorded, tell them that it may be recorded from your end too. If they want private information, only give it after they have provided theirs, and you have confirmed them as correct. But most of all, let them know that if they want to play funny buggers, you are more than happy to charge them for the time they take wasting your time, and to bill the bank accordingly. Take a stand, and have a win against the banks!

5 comments

  1. Susan posted on July 13, 2010:

    Brilliant! That is the best way to get rid of telemarketers I have heard yet. And you get to slap them down with logic. Exquisite!

  2. Tweets that mention agreencow.com » Before we proceed, I just need to confirm -- Topsy.com posted on July 13, 2010:

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Nick. Nick said: RT @agreencow: New Post at A Green Cow: Before we proceed, I just need to confirm http://agreencow.com/?p=42 [...]

  3. Admin posted on July 15, 2010:

    Susan: Logic always wins, and you don’t need to get angry doing it. Works well with a variety of phone calls.

  4. Susan posted on July 18, 2010:

    That it does but I do enjoy my son’s endlessly creative ways with dealing with cold callers. He is never rude, very charismatic and increasingly funny.

  5. Andy B posted on July 19, 2010:

    It’s this sort of bullshit that caused me to end my relationship with the ANZ bank.

    By end, I mean I just told my employer my new bank details and will let the monthly fee keep getting debited until they get the hint.

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